Blessings on the Autumn Equinox

On releasing and allowing

Welcome to the Autumn Equinox! For the next few days, night and day are equally long and in perfect equilibrium. Dark balances light, masculine energy balances feminine energy, inner focus balances outer focus, but not for long. In the Northern Hemisphere, the daylight continues to grow shorter as we slide into the dark months toward the Winter Solstice.

Energy of releasing

This time of year carries the energy of releasing and letting go. Summer is over, the harvest season is winding down, the leaves are changing colors and letting go. The Autumn Equinox is a time to let go of what no longer makes you come alive. It is time to release anything that is not you and doesn't belong in your space.

photo credit: Michelle Granados

Why now?

It is easier to be in sync with nature’s energetic shift that is happening now. Flowing with the current is always easier than pushing the river.

Getting rid of clutter and projects or relationships that have run their course creates space to rest, renew, nurture during the coming dark months of winter. This clear space can welcome what new delight wants to come through you.

Need some suggestions about what to let go of in this Equinox season? I’ve included some beautiful words from author, teacher, and earth intuitive Asia Suler, at the end of this post for some helpful insight.

Sacred No

My last post on selfishness lined up with this seasonal release perfectly. We need to get comfortable using our sacred no in order to create enough space in our lives for our sacred yes to flourish. Saying yes to what aligns with your soul contributes to your overall well-being.

The sacred no is about saying ‘no’ to protect “those things we stand for, those boundaries that are stepped over, to workloads that are too heavy, demands that are too much.” Source

I invite you to bring your curiosity to these questions:

• Are you comfortable choosing yourself or do you defer to others when deciding how to spend your time or energy?

• When deciding whether to keep a commitment or release it, ask yourself: “Is this choice in service of my heart’s deepest intentions?” Source

• What feeds you? Walking in nature, talking to actual humans in real life, expressing yourself creatively, playing the piano…. Do more of that!

• What drains you? Scrolling on your phone, comparing your life to other people on the internet, being tossed about 24/7 by the news cycle. We weren’t built to consume so much information delivered at a dizzying rate; let alone that so much of it is absolutely horrific. Is it possible to reduce the amount of time you spend on events over which you have no control, and invest more of your energy on events over which you do have some control?

I came across a way to shift the perspective around all the angst we carry with us in Oliver Burkeman’s newsletter, The Imperfectionist. Burkeman suggests that when we spend too much of our day ingesting the news, we lose our sense of agency. In addition, when we sink into a pit of despair, we lose clarity, peace and the ability to act from a grounded place, in the words of Gina Luker.

There is very little we can actually do to impact the news cycle. We can respond to the news cycle by protesting, calling your elected representatives, writing letters to the editor, voting, and caring for those in our midst and all of these are necessary and do work in the long run. But it is becoming painfully obvious that none of these actions are quick-acting remedies that impact the new cycle or extinguish the dumpster fire that is raging in our country right now.

Essentially, when you are "living inside the news," you minimize your “basic sense of ‘self-efficacy’ – of successfully getting things done – on which wellbeing depends.” Burkeman. Spiraling into a It was only robbing me of clarity, of peace, of the ability to act from a grounded place instead of a frantic one.

When you redirect your energy to your actual life, and the actions over which you have real control, you can actually effect change and get things done. And that makes you feel good. “The point is that whatever you do, you’ll be acting in the world you can affect, not the entirely conceptual one that leaves you only anxious and frustrated.” Read the whole issue of Burkeman’s newsletter here.

Both/And - The Invitation

There is an invitation in every moment. Can you weave into your life both moments of activism and paying attention to the news, and engage in actions in your real life, ones that bring you joy and feed your soul and your stomach?

Can you find the balance that will bring you back into equanimity?

Once you have found that balance - and it may shift from day to day - you might need to shore up your boundaries so that you can maintain that balance.

Create your boundaries.

You only get one life. What do you want to let into yours? What do you want to express with yours? Creating boundaries is a slow process, a dance of ebb and flow. Aisa Suler compares boundaries with gardening in her book, Mirrors in the Earth: “Each opportunity you have to say yes or no is an invitation to learn more about yourself — who are you? What do you desire? Creating boundaries is the way we begin to understand what the gardener within us wants to cultivate in this life.”

Protect your boundaries.

You’ll need to embrace your masculine warrior energy here. Strong boundaries give you clarity about what is yours to do and what is outside your control. According to Suler, “when we set boundaries in our lives, we reclaim our lifeforce. We say to the world that we deserve to be here and that we will carve out the space and time that we need so our gifts can flourish.” Protect your boundaries like your sanity depends on it, because it does.

Tend your boundaries.

Every decision you make impacts your boundaries and ultimately how you fill your life. You get to decide whether to enforce a boundary or soften it. Do you “want” to take an action or are feeling like you “should” take an action? Your response to that query may change day to day and season by season. Say yes with intention if your yes aligns with your values. Remember that aligned actions lead to full flourishing.

What do you want to cultivate in the garden of your life?

What belongs and what doesn’t?

How can you curate a life that allows you to be fully expressed and your unique gifts to flourish?